Friday, February 5, 2016

Adnan Syed's Post-Conviction Relief Hearing: Day 3



One of the biggest things to come out of day 3 of Adnan's PCR hearing, at least on social media, was the #UselessSteve hashtag.  This morning, the court heard testimony from defense witness Michele Hamiel, who was manager of the Woodlawn Public Library back in 1999.  Her testimony, cross and redirect didn't take very long, but in that short time, Ms Hamiel managed to crack up the entire courtroom, and for bonus points, completely discredit the guy that the State had planned to call next, one of their "super secret bombshell" witnesses, former Library security guard, Steve.

According to Ms Hamiel, back in 1999 the students of Woodlawn used to refer to the library security guards as "2.5" because, if cops are "5.0" than Woodlawn security guards are half that LOL.   Remember that Woodlawn Public library is practically on the campus of the high school, which is why the students have opinions about the security guards.  But that's not all, Woodlawn students apparently saved a special place in their hearts for security guard Steve, or as they liked to call him, Useless Steve.  He was the Paul Blart, Mall Cop of library security. It's unclear exactly what his testimony would have been, but the general consensus from those observing this trial firsthand is that the State will most likely not call Steven at this point, because they're already a laughing stock and don't want to make it worse.

*Disclaimer* I can never remember the last name of the bloke who is playing the part of the prosecuter at Adnan's PCR hearing, so I'm just going to use random words starting with v instead.  Like "vagasil" or "velociraptor." 

Next up was David Irwin, an incredibly skillful and experienced defense attorney, who testified for the defense as to Christian Gutierrez' failures in this case.  He helped to expand on the defense's overall theme, that basic work that should have been done in Adnan's defense was not done, such as contacting alibi witnesses like Asia, following up on possible security footage of Adnan and Asia in the library, and a bunch of other stuff.  Thiru Vaporator tried to claim that this wasn't proof of incompetence on Gutierrez' part, but was in fact part of an overall strategy, which even the legally ignorant like me realises is complete and utter bullshit.  But, by all accounts, Irwin ripped Prosecuter Vavavavoom to shreds and he got his widdle lawyer panties in a twist, again.

Next to take the stand, to counter Gerald Grant's testimony on the cell tower evidence, was FBI cell tower expert, Chad Fitzgerald, who underwent one hell of a rough cross thanks to Adnan's lawyer, C. Justin Brown who is a certified badass! Thanks to this little exchange, we got our second hilarious hashtag of the day #DudeWheresMyHelicopter

The court has now adjourned, and the hearing will resume on Monday (early Tuesday morning if you're in Aus or NZ like me).  Sorry I don't have links to the Undisclosed podcast's Day 3 update, or Sarah Keonig's #SerialUpdate, but I will add them to this post as soon as they become available, so check back soon.

Undisclosed:Day 3 Recap
Serial: Day 3 Recap
The Frisky: Day 3

And finally, I leave you with proof that even when you're in prison, your little bro will still give you arseholes! XD

Video of Adnan leaving court

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